Bonus Reviews for This Week
Wolf (1994) and Wolf Cop (2014)
For this week’s bonus films, we’ll look at a couple of werewolf films. One takes itself deadly serious, with A-list Hollywood stars and no laughs at all. The other is a comedy with actors you’ve never heard of. The fun part is that they’re both really good!
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Wolf Cop (2014)
• Directed by Lowell Dean
• Written by Lowell Dean
• Stars Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio, Sarah Lind
• Run Time: 1 hour, 19 minutes
• Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgement Zone
Juvenile humor, lots of wolf references in the background, and a fast moving plot make this horror-comedy stand out. It’s predictable, formulaic, and silly at times, but it’s still actually a lot of fun.
Synopsis
Deputy Lou Garou wakes up with the alarm after dreaming the stuff we just saw in the credits. The radio tells us that there’s been a rash of missing cats and dogs. There’s an infamous “walking bear” that is being blamed for the animals. Lou arrives at the station just in time to get chewed out by the boss. There’s a gang who’ve been robbing stores while wearing pig masks.
He gets a call from Willie, who runs the gun store. Willie shows him a video in which he claims there are Satanists creeping around in his backyard. The big hunting festival is scheduled for this upcoming weekend. Terry Wallace is running for mayor, trying to unseat Mayor Bradley. Lou’s got a serious alcohol problem, and everyone knows it.
He gets another call about the Satanist kids, and he wanders through the woods under the full moon looking for them. He finds a man hanging upside-down from a tree, gets knocked out, and wakes up in his own bed in the morning. When he tries to shave, the hair grows back— instantly. He’s also got a strange scar on his chest. His hearing and smell are enhanced.
He gets a call, Terry Wallace is dead. He was the man Lou saw hanging in the tree. The mayor wants to cancel the “Drink & Shoot” out of respect. Deputy Tina thinks this is all very suspicious; she doesn’t think it was an overdose.
That evening, Lou is off drinking at the “Tooth & Nail” bar where Jessica works. As the moon rises, Lou gets a headache. He goes into the bathroom, and things start busting out all over. Meanwhile, robbers break in, but they don’t fare well against the now-WolfCop. He wakes up at Willie’s place; Willie shot him in the back with tranquilizers last night and knows exactly what happened. Willie sneaks wolfsbane in Lou’s breakfast, and Lou spits it out. Yep— he’s a werwolf.
Tina wants the Sheriff to call in help, but he says they can handle it themselves. We hear that Tina’s father used to run the bar until he was killed. They head to the bar, and Jessica knows Lou saved her from the robbers. The bar itself is a bloody mess.
Lou starts researching missing people and animal attacks over the town’s history. Werewolves are created in a sacrificial ritual; it’s often the village idiot, since they are easier to control. The werewolf’s blood is drained during a total eclipse, which is going to happen tomorrow. This blood is used to recharge shapeshifters.
We switch scenes to see the gang leader yelling at his men for not bringing Lou in. They weren’t just robbers last night, they were coming for Lou.
That night, Willie locks up Lou in a jail cell and sets up a camera to film him. Tina comes in late and catches them in the act. She leaves just before he changes again. The wolf needs a drink afterward. Willie and the WolfCop start playing cards. They get a call about a robbery at the Liquor Donuts shop— it’s the Piggies again. He stops the robbery easily in front of several witnesses.
Wolf-Lou and Willie then break into the auto body shop and create a “wolfmobile.” Tina gets a call about “A gang of pigs and a large wolf are on the scene” at the Liquor Donut store.
We see the gang leader snorting dried wolf’s blood, and he gets upset when he hears about the piggies’ defeat. WolfCop and Willie then attack a meth lab, burning the place to the ground after a massive battle. When they get back to the station, Jessica is there waiting for them— wearing a red scarf and carrying a goodie basket. They have one of the weirdest (totally not bestiality!) sex scenes ever.
Afterward, they smoke a cigarette. Then he passes out— she’s drugged him. He then sees her turn into Mayor Bradley. The mayor is a shapeshifter! She yells at Willie for not keeping control over the wolf. Turns out Lou is a lot stronger than they expected. Yes, they were behind the ritual that made Lou into a werewolf.
Tina overhears them and plays back the surveillance video of the whole night. There’s one hour until the solar eclipse. The last solar eclipse was 32 years ago, the same time Tina’s father was killed. He must have been the shapeshifter’s previous victim!
Lou wakes up chained to a tree, surrounded by the mayor, sheriff, and Willie. They’ve been running the town for two-hundred years.
As the eclipse commences, Lou starts to turn again. They stab him and start draining blood. Tina shoots Willie, and the WolfCop escapes. Mayor Bradley/Jessica battles Tina, while the WolfCop fights everyone else.
The gang leader/Sheriff captures Tina and admits he killed her father 32 years ago. He then fights WolfCop one-on-one. The sheriff stabs Tina, but then WolfCop simply shoots him. The sun comes back out, and Lou and Tina head to the hospital. He needs a drink.
Commentary
The transformation scenes are really good— he literally tears off his own skin. The gore shots are well-done as well.
From the trailers, I expected an awful, low-budget comedy. It was actually very well done with high production values. Most of the jokes were pretty juvenile, but they still work.
Wolf (1994)
• Director: Mike Nichols
• Writers: Jim Harrison, Wesley Strick
• Stars: Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, James Spader
• Run Time: 2 Hours, 5 Minutes
• Trailer:
Spoiler-Free Judgement Zone
Not too monstrous of a monster movie, but it’s still pretty darn good. A powerhouse cast, good direction, interesting script and a big budget all add up to a winner. The monster makeup and gore are a little sparse here, but since it’s more drama than shock, it’s still really good.
Synopsis
Will Randall is driving through the snow in the dark. There’s a full moon, but he can barely see the road. Out of nowhere, he hits a dog-- a wolf in the road. It’s a big wolf, so Will pokes it with a stick. It’s not quite dead though; it bites him and runs off into the woods. Will drives off in a hurry.
Next morning, Will isn’t feeling too well, but heads into the office anyway. Mary and Roy say that if Will gets fired tonight, they’ll quit too. Raymond Alden is a billionaire who just bought the newspaper Will works for. Stewart Swinton, Will’s protege, explains to Maude that she owes the company one more book before she can threaten to quit yet.
That night, everyone goes to Alden’s party. Alden calls for Will. Alden wants to move Will to Eastern Europe. They walk past some horses, and they don’t like Will. Will then has chest pains, and Laura Alden gives him a drink. They talk about what just happened; he’ll take the crappy job because he’s too old and worn out to fight back. She helps him clean himself up and sends him back to the party. Will confronts Stewart, who stabbed him in the back to get his job. Naturally, Will’s wife, Charlotte, nags about it for the rest of the night.
The next day Will notices the wound on his hand has gotten hairy. His sense of smell and hearing is much stronger than it should be. He can suddenly read without his glasses. He starts to wonder if he could be possessed by the spirit of an animal.
He smells his wife’s outfit and detects that Stewart is after more than his job. He goes over to Stewart’s house and catches them in the act. He also bites Stewart.
Will decides to go on the offensive at the office the next day. Stewart sucks up to Will, but it’s too late for that. “I’m gonna get you, Stewart.” He has Mary call all the authors and talk them into banding together to buy the publishing house and force Alden out.
Will goes to see Alden and refuses his offer. On the way out, he spooks the horses again and helps Laura after she gets thrown. She decides to have lunch with Will just to annoy her father. She’s sullen and morbid. He explains what happened, how he feels, and his fear that this all has a price. They talk for a long time until he has another attack. He passes out in her guest bed.
That night, he wakes up with a hairy face, fangs and mutton chops. He sniffs the air and hunts a deer, killing it. When he wakes up in the morning, he’s covered in blood. He goes to the doctor, who thinks he simply fell down in his sleep. Will feels far better the next day.
Alden is in his office that morning; he knows about Will’s plan to steal the writers for his own publishing house. Alden caves and gives Will exactly what he wants. Afterward, Will goes to see Dr. Alezais, a werewolf expert. “You are becoming a wolf,” Alezais says. He suggests going to visit a shaman, but explains that Will will continue to grow in power until the first full moon, when the beast will take over. The doctor gives him an amulet that should hold the beast at bay. In return, he wants Will to bite him. “The demon wolf is not evil unless the man he has bitten is evil.”
That night, he goes hunting again, this time at the zoo. The police try to arrest him, but he easily gets away from them. He kills a mugger on the walk back to his apartment.
He meets with Alden and signs the contracts. He’s the boss again and “marks his territory” with Stewart before firing him. He finds the mugger’s fingers in his pocket by accident. Charlotte begs Will to take her back; Stewart can’t support her anymore. He doesn’t have anything nice to say.
This time, when he gets home, he puts the amulet on and handcuffs himself to the radiator. Laura comes over and finds him in this condition. She unlocks him, and they have sex.
Two detectives come looking for Will. Charlotte was murdered the night before; it was some kind of animal attack. They got some blood and tissue samples from her body and want Will to submit samples for comparison.
We see that Stewart is talking to Arden, making and getting new promises.
Will says he could have gone out after Laura went to sleep; he could have killed her. Laura starts having doubts herself when the detective mentions their blood samples had dog DNA. She locks him in a cage in the barn.
Laura goes to see the detective and runs into Stewart in the waiting room. His eyes look just like Will’s, and she notices he has a bite on his hand. Stewart throws Will under the bus to the police, telling them Will found out about the affair. They issue a warrant for Will. It’s clear that Stewart has been infected as well, so Laura runs away and arranges for a private plane to carry them both away.
Stewart follows her home and kills the guards. He grabs Laura right in front of Will’s cage. Will tears off the amulet and soon goes full werewolf. He jump over the bars of the cage, and the two wolfmen fight epicly until Laura fills Stewart full of bullets. Will then runs off into the woods.
Alden calls the police, who find the dead guards and Stewart. Laura comes out and covers everything up. Suddenly, she has super smell, enhanced hearing, and funky eyes too. Happy ending?
Commentary
There’s a lot of discussion about Will being “The last civilized man,” and how being a nice guy is out-of-date. As the old doctor says, the wolf isn’t evil unless the man is.
Almost all werewolf movies revolve around “The curse” that they suffer from and how terrible their affliction is. This film focuses more on the benefits and powers one gains along with the wolf bite.
The acting is great all-around. It’s a little long, but it’s all interesting. If you’re looking for a “monster movie,” this isn’t what you are looking for. Nicholson’s and Spader’s makeup is fairly subtle for a film of this type, and he doesn’t get particularly monstrous till the end.
Stay tuned!
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